Preheating the Oven

Two years from now, I'll pull a Danny Deckchair and float up into the atmosphere, except instead of falling from the sky into my soulmate's backyard, I'll just get high off of oxygen deprivation--hypoxia, baby! So good. However, prior to my overly dramatic ascent to the heavens, there remain a few items to check off the agenda. For starters, I still need to learn Wonderwall on acoustic guitar so that girls will like me--and that's just the tip of the dingle!


If you are not yet aware, I set out for South America today, January 6th, beginning in Chile. Essentially, if I don't force myself into a radically different, practically inescapable circumstance, I'm just going to grow old, go crazy, and die with all of my regrets. Fuck that. So with no return flight, my plan is to roam around in search of the ancient tabulature of Wonderwall.

"But Miles, Why South America?"

(ΘεΘ;)  *yawn* Okay - let’s just get this one out of the way:

  • Increase Spanish proficiency
  • Relatively low travel costs
  • Mind exploding natural beauty
  • A culture that seems like it will challenge & excite me
  • La pasión!

But in truth, I’m not totally certain why I chose South America. I could have fulfilled those elsewhere. I’ve just always sorta had it in the back of my mind that that is where I would go once I got around to traveling. And that’s either the best or the worst reason for my decision—I just felt it, baby!

What Will You Find in the Dingle?

Many of you know me as a vulgar, tasteless idiot with the humor of a 16-year-old; some of you know me as a man who enjoys more seriouser discussions; and a handful of you know me as a miserable schmuck. Well, you can bet your sweet bippy this blog will be all of that and more! I mean, hopefully I will perceptibly grow in my travels and my writing will reflect that, but don't expect me grow above a casual fart joke. Beyond that, you can expect:

  • Pictures of subjectively-dope shit
  • Passive-aggressive complaining & sarcasm
  • Embarrassing confessions
  • White guilt
  • Eye-opening interviews with locals
  • Perhaps terrible videos with zero post-production
  • Pathetic ramblings about my constant existential crises
  • Entire blogs dedicated to meaningless things like the sound a tea kettle makes

Overall, I hope to entertain, arouse, provoke, enlighten, and uh... y'know, whatever. I'm just tryna figure out my life, man.

Leaving Seattle

Well, Seattle, you’ve been good to me, but I haven’t been very good to you. Continually, I’ve made the same mistakes. I’ve left good relationships untended while I gave strangers my affection. I’ve let my mind run amok while my body broke down. Significant moments have passed through me while I clung to my stubborn ego. Overall, I’ve been an ungrateful twat.

I still have many heirloom traits that do not resonate with me; and while I understand transformation comes from within, it feels like my Seattle roots are feeding these bad habits. In order to loosen their grip, I need to get the fuck outta here.

So thank you to everyone who has been a significant part of my life the last 6 years. Perhaps I will return, and perhaps I won’t. Either way, suck a D - I’m out! (0´)


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