Yo whaddup, Dingleberries. Hope ya’ll been keepin’ it both trill and one hunnit. I sure have, let me tell ya! I’ve flossed my teeth every single night since I returned 2.5 months ago (except for one all-nighter). I haven’t drank alcohol for nearly four months (excluding one recent bachelor party). And I quit Reddit forever almost two weeks ago (excepting one very important subreddit).
Well, that’s about all I got. Lata, suckas! t(◕‿◕t)
Oh BOY, I gotcha good! Idiot. ƪ(΄◞ิ◟ิ‵)ʃ You really thought an egotistical dickface like me would only talk about himself for a few sentences? No way, Pedro. Fasten your seatbutts because you’re in for the long haul now, buddy!
I want to preface this by stating that I would very much like to hear from you (!) about your personal stories pertaining to the topics discussed below. It’s one of the main reasons I’m writing this. I want to emphasize that I am looking for your story. I am not looking for advice.
So I eliminated alcohol and Reddit from my life, but so far the only positive habit that I’ve added is flossing, and good god, am I clinging to that habit for dear life. Flossing has become the entire definition of who I am. I am flossing—no more, no less.
But perhaps I could be more than flossing. Maybe—and please let me know if I’m blaspheming—but just maybe I could be something like, a morning walker. Or a consistent water chugger. Or perhaps I could whip out the Dingle more often. Dare I shoot for the heavens? You all know the old saying: “If you shoot for heaven, you end up at 7-11.” ƪ(‾￣o￣”)ʃ
Anywho, I’m looking to squeeze a little more jugo outta my día, and while flossing nearly squeezes me duh-RY, I think there might be another drop I can wring outta this rag. I am well aware that what works for you may not work for me, but I’m curious to hear about your positive habits and what they mean to you.
Morality swims through my thoughts frequently, yet I rarely do anything morally fulfilling. Part of me wants badly for my career to be morally significant, but part of me wants to earn a fucking paycheck (it’s sad that those are mostly mutually exclusive). I could volunteer, but where? Should I really volunteer? Maybe you can tell, but my indecision over even the smallest of questions crushes me into submission. I can barely pick out my socks in the morning.
(ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ) If I wear my long socks, my ankles won’t show, but my feet will be hot. Plus, they’ll slowly creep down my leg and I’ll have to pull them up all day. Maybe my white Nike socks. But they’re old and the heels are wearing thin. I should throw them out, but I’ve had them since high school. They’re special. Oh god, I’m sentimentally attached to my plain white socks, I should definitely throw them away. Maybe later. They're still fairly comfortable. Okay, so maybe it's not so much the sentiment but the comfort that makes me want to keep them. Yeah, that's it. I'm NOT crazy. If you have to tell yourself you're not crazy, you're probably at least a little bit crazy though. What about my Under Armour socks? Ehh, but they're kinda stretched out and aren't as snug as they once were. They sorta make me sad... I need new socks, none of these work. But for now, I need to choose a pair. Hm… Maybe I’ll sleep on it. Yeah, that’s a good idea! I’ll take a lil nappy-poo and decide what socks to wear when I wake up.
*ahem* So. Where do you personally get moral fulfillment?
Finding Purpose & Passion
I have two opposing views on the cause & cure of my apathy:
- Apathy is caused by either not having goals or pursuing the wrong goals. In order to fix it, you need to pursue the goals that resonate with you.
- Apathy is a choice and can only truly be fixed by choosing to change your attitude.
I fluctuate on things like this every day. #2 seems to be an obvious truth, but part of me sees it as an “unrealistic truth” because of the godlike effort required to choose your attitude every waking moment. When it comes down to it, there’s truth to both of them.
My lovely friend Lindsey recently recommended the book The Alchemist to me. Good book. It didn’t blow my banana or anything, but it’s a wonderfully short, straightforward book about “the boy,” whose name you never get, and his pursuit of his Personal Legacy—or what others might call his “True Calling.” The two main takeaways for me were: 1) Watch for the “omens” that point you to your Personal Legacy and 2) Listen to your heart or it will stop talking to you.
While “follow the omens” and “listen to your heart” sound clear & simple, it hasn’t been easy at all. Every single day, I’m surrounded by people who seem to discourage me from following what feels like the right direction. I’ve tried checking in with myself to fortify my feelings about some goals I had, but found those feelings absent and can’t tell if they’ve changed, if they were never really there, or if maybe it was a passing mood and I’ll feel them again tomorrow. One thing is certain: I’ve never been one to feel strongly about anything for more than 48 hours, so I’m leaning towards the latter. But the possibility that maybe the feelings for these goals were never “real” in the first place might hold weight. I could easily see myself chasing a goal as an escape rather than a fulfillment. It would probably help if I had an idea of what my Personal Legacy was. It doesn't help that the boy from the book's Personal Legacy came to him in a stupid dream.
Anywho, I’ll figure it out. Or I won’t, and then I’ll die and it won’t matter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What I really want to know is how did you find your purpose/passion? Did it come to you or did you seek it out? What did your “support structure” look like (i.e. were you alone, did you have significant family/friend support, were there many naysayers)? Do you actually feel an affinity with your purpose/passion? Are you monetizing it? How much time do you spend on your purpose/passion vs. other shit? Why do you love it? DETAILS, PEOPLE! DETAILS!